Big Dreams

WOW! It's amazing what can happen in a year's time.  It's hard to believe all that has transpired in this last year since our move to Nelson County to plant a church.  It has been one of the most difficult and at times, the most overwhelming of journeys and adventures.  Just a few weeks ago, as I was sharing my heart with God I said "Ok, I think I am about done with this adventure. Can we please move onto something else, like living in a house, my husband having a job again, and feeling like life is normal for once. I mean really Lord, have we not packed in enough life lessons for the next century?  Do you ever have those kind of honest questions to God? I do, all the time in fact.  Of course, after I was done wallowing in what, at that moment, I was seeing as a mis-adventure instead of an adventure, God once again spoke to my heart.  "Daughter, life is an adventure, always has been, always will be, what matters is the attitude you approach it with." How's your attitude daughter? Let me change it on the inside so that it reflects my attitude on the outside."  Hmmm....sounds vaguely familiar. Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah...I say that to my girls all the time.  "Daughter, your attitude is showing and from what I see, it needs an adjustment on the inside and the outside."  Hmmm..so really it's about a change of attitude, of perspective, from a different set of eyes...God's eyes.
So many times I need God's eyes to see what I can't with my own.  His will for my life, the future that lies ahead, the dreams that He wants to fulfill in my life for His glory and to further His kingdom.  Some of those dreams are buried deep in my heart to the point that even I fear to look at them or to dream that they are possible.  When God called us to pastor and plant a new church in Nelson He once again began to unearth dreams from the farthest recess of my heart.  Up until now I have not shared that with many people, only two in fact. My husband and my mentor. Why? Because it's scary acknowledging those dreams out loud because what if God really did do something with that? Heaven forbid that He would see potential in my mess.  But, despite the fear the dream will not go away, the desire to serve more than myself and my small world continues to press in on my heart. So what is the dream, the desire that God presses on my heart daily?  To be able to minister to women, to see them set free in Christ.  For women be able to have confidence in who God has made them to be so that they can minister that much more to their families and others.  I desire to write and speak.  How that is going to happen, I don't know.  It seems so impossible sometimes but I know that with God anything is possible.
In July the Proverbs 31 Ministry team is once again hosting their "She Speaks" conference. Ever since I learned of it I have desired to go. I believe that this conference will help to equip me to better serve the women here at home in this new church plant.  I am so excited to minister beside my husband and reach out to the women of this community. I also believe it will be an encouragement and give me practical building blocks to move forward in the dreams God continues to press upon my heart.  I have prayed that if this is the year for me to go then God would open a way.  Since January, and our loss of income, I figured God was saying no for this time, that maybe next year it would work out.  This past week I received an e-mail letting women know that Lysa TerKeurst is giving away scholarships to attend this event.  Immediately I was excited about the possibility and so have chosen to submit this blog as my scholarship entry.  Will I go this year? Or will I not? Only God know the future. But no matter what the outcome I pray that God will continue to give me His eyes for the adventures ahead and His attitude that shines from the inside out.
Blessings ~ Victoria